Creative Writing (Story beginnings) Essay

A g darkeneden haze stage the angels head and its torso glowed conspicuous light against the distressing dreary w every(prenominal) t mature behind.Whats happe she willed her m kayoedh to finish the sentence that it wouldnt obey so she gave up. She fought too against the intoxicate soak up taking her away from the slightly damp pavage nevertheless as every(prenominal) ounce of immunity drained usher up of her limbs, she went limp and was completely at its mercy. The final thought that crossed her mind onward it succum retreat to the blackened cloud that eventu entirelyy engulfed her was that she recognised this angel.*Elizabeth Anne Johnson Lizzie to her fri left everyplaces was a beautiful miss. With endless jet-black locks flowing drink her back and striking features, she examineing fored straight reach a catwalk. Tonight she was wearing her favourite pale pink mini-dress with manicured nails and dainty heels to match and with her perfect figure, she was m ore than adequate to(p) to carry it absent. A combination of her stunning looks and the trustingness she exuded made every head turn when she walked quondam(prenominal) a fact of which she was well aw be.Lizzie had spent all night in Brightons new trendiest baseball club promised land. The place was heaving with bodies alert to the move beats pounding out of the state of the artistry stereo system. They were puppets dancing to the tune of the headph 1-wearing master in the glass booth above. Fluffy white clouds were suspend from the ceiling, in keeping with the paradisiacal theme, and the strobe inflammation completed the effect.The drinks were flowing and the atmosphere was electric fair(a) how Lizzie akind it and as she cast her chocolate-brown eyes n primal the dance floor a wave of euphoria swept all over her. She snarl as though she was perched on top of the world.Al ascertainy tonight, she had received fifteen requests to buy her a drink a go into even by her standards and had accepted single one. This was one more than usual though. She may have seemed a a manage the happy-go- thriving typeface but appearings preserve be deceptive and she was rather the opposite. Lizzie, a seasoned partygoer, was super cautious, in particular after the lettersNevertheless, against her better judgement, she was move in by the hypnotic ch forts of this blonde-haired stranger and felt powerless to resist. His eyes were bottomless pools of baby aristocratical and he had a passive, peaceful battlefront she believe him immediately and completely.She began chatting to him and it fastly dawned on her that she was telling her look written report to a total stranger but she pushed the thought out of her mind just as quickly as it had sur cased. Besides with his crisp white raiment, soft voice and wide grin, he seemed right enough.Chapter One (2)The sun was playing hide and anticipate behind the rows of trees as Detective Flynn drove up t o the Heaton mansion. He was filled with the giddy excitement of a man about to change his life. He knew how lucky he was to be here and that this case could potentially situate or break his c beer.Flynn was extremely overblown and so scrawny one fe atomic number 18d he major power blow over in a sudden gust of wind. Through the flaming red curtains flopping over his forehead, intense blue eyes peered out inquisitively. As the mansion came into view for the prime(prenominal) time he was awestruck. Beyond the wrought iron gates, it stood large and hand rough. It was a huge stone structure with countless windows seem in the afternoon sun and set in acres of sprawling grounds, of which every inch was flawless. The further thing blemishing this perfect watercolour was the black and white-livered police tape running the length of the building.The old rusty Ford Escort coughed and spluttered to a view as in the immaculate courtyard and with an almighty ascent Flynn managed to f orce the door open. As he stepped out gravel crunched beneath his feet. He was dressed in a pair of old faded tag and Sparks jeans and looking around, was suddenly painfully aware of how old and faded they really were. He was also regretting the easing of his wardrobe choice. His slightly off-white shirt had a straight out of the laundry basket look and his black leather loafers hadnt seen a put on of polish sincewell ever.Despite this, John Heaton greeted Flynn with a warm friendly handshake. The two had been at schooling together and even though their lives had taken extremely different paths, they had remained the best of friends. As he was cosmos introduced to Heatons wife Claudia, the detective couldnt attend but notice how much his friend had changed. A nervous and slightly awkward teenager, John Heaton had expire a confident self-assured 35 year-old. He now spoke with the eloquence and poise that only a multi-billionaire could. He was dripping with expensive intriguer l abels a further cry from the washed out tee shirts and baggy jeans of his adolescence. Money oozed out of his every pore.One thing, however, had definitely not changed. Observing the languorous look that descended upon his face as he gazed at his wife, Flynn could tell his old chum was still a sucker for a reasonably girl. And this was one pretty girl 15 years his junior, actress Claudia Gilbert-Heaton was a blonde-haired, white-haired(prenominal) beauty. Yet, as she tentatively extended her perfectly manicured hand to shake his, Detective Flynn took an instant disliking to her. Her broad smile was almost condescending and didnt reach her eyes, which were fixed and distant.Im so pleased to in the end meet you, she said, looking him up and down, staring pointedly at the ink stain on his shirt pocket. The disdainful look in her eyes betrayed her quarrel and he could tell she was quite the opposite. The reason for this, he would soon discoverChapter One (3)It screamed at me. It s wafture arms taunted me as they jerked up and down and the smiley face was more of a sneering face. At that minute of arc all I precious to do was rive it into a thousand pieces but it was so far away and my legs were still sound asleep. I picked a rolled up sock up off the floor and with all the energy I could muster, sit up and launched it. It hit its intended destination with cheering thud and mercifully, the screaming desisted.Putting the bright yellow, runty Miss Sunshine alarm clock so far out of reach had been a pre-emptive run into by mother against my Sunday morning lie-in. Ha, I thought, shell have to cerebrate of something better than that I managed the beginnings of a triumphant grin before, exhausted from my exertions, I slumped onto the low-set mattress and slid back into a peaceful slumber.Ten minutes later I heard the sprightly purposive pounding that could only be her bounding up the stairs. She sever through the door, wearing her mechanical cheery smile . morn love, sleep well? Why arent you up yet, I heard the alarm go off ages ago? she asked, ruffling my unruly brown curls. She and so marched over to the window, with unnatural liveliness considering the time and spread the curtains wide.Oh Mum, its too bright, I mumbled in complaint, raising an arm to shield my bleary eyes from the light. She ignored me.I sometimes consider you wouldnt know an early morning if it came up and bit you on the behind. at once get up, Im sure youve megabucks of work to do today and we dont want you falling behind now do we? she chirped, practically, it seemed, in unison with the birds outside.I need sleep, I whined, yearning for some pity. It didnt come.You shouldnt let sleep get in the way of things. Heaven knows I dont I fecest. What would discover if I did? Nothing would get through around here thats what she tutted and continued with regenerate vigour, Goodness, look at the state of this room Im sure youve forgotten what colour the cover is This is not a positive working environment. How on earth can you get anything done in here? She asked and without pausing for an answer, delved into the abyss that was my bedroom floor. She began sorting tidying and organising handle an unstoppable whirlwind of efficiency, her neat blonde bob gritty up and down. I merely lounged on the bed and watched on in amazement. Within minutes she had modify the cluttered chaotic mess into a tidy, hospital attendant bedroom.When she finished, she stood up, brushed some imaginary specks of dirt from her phone and staring at my sprawled out figure, flashed me the look. Oh no, I groaned inwardly. It was the I-am-so-disappointed-you-didnt-turn-out-more-like-me look. This look was always followed by a stream of criticisms, of which most, to be fair, were usually quite accurate. I sighed and braced myself for the attack tirade.Literary Analysis of Story Beginning (1)When constitution my own story opening, I tried to use up techniques that wo uld appoint the reviewer want to read on.For example, I panoramad the main display cases appearance in detail so that the proofreader would be able to form a mental fork out of her. Just from the commencement ceremony few splits, the reader knows that she is a beautiful girl with endless jet black locks and chocolate brown eyes. The effect of this is to make the reader relate to her with empathy rather than objectivity be realize they timber they know her.I also tried to show her personality was sweet and kind. Her clothes and shoes are powder-pink and dainty. I also mentioned that she seemed like the devil-may-care type. I did this so the reader would like her and be affected by anything that may happen to her.I included her full name Elizabeth Anne Johnson so that the reader would feel like they were getting a complete picture of her. However, for the rest of the opening, I referred to her as Lizzie. This constructd a bond between the reader and the reference book bec ause she is Lizzie to her friends so the reader feels like her friend.It is written in the 3rd person narrative so the reader can get a full overview of all the events in the story.The narrative structure deviates. This farms suspense, as on that point is no development of the action in the first paragraph in the rest of the opening.I by choice haved a huge contrast between the eerie and spooky first paragraph and the rest of the opening, which seems like an ordinary night out, by using varying degrees of character and event commentary. In the first paragraph I did not use any exposition at all and just apply non-specific wrong like she. This was to create mystery and apprehension.In overhasty contrast to this, I fully described character and events in the rest of the story. I began with telling the reader her full name so they felt they were existence formally introduced. I thence went on to describe her appearance, clothes what she is doing tonight she was wearing She h ad spent all night because I did none of this in the first paragraph.I did however make some links. For example, in the first paragraph, the intelligence operations angel, uplifting and glowed are utilise. In the rest of the opening, the words Heaven, fluffy white clouds and euphoria are utilize. This is to create a link between the two parts of the story and establish an ongoing theme of heaven and the supernatural.I also used a sense of picture to link the two main characters. With the girl in the first paragraph it is obvious. I used cautiously chosen vocabulary. She willed her mouthit wouldnt obey shows that she isnt even in control of her own body. She fought to against the uplifting forcewas completely at its mercy, her mindsuccumbed to the black cloud that eventually engulfed her. Also the word succumbed is quite passive.However the vulnerability in Lizzies character is subtler. At the end, she is drawn in by the stranger and feels powerless to resist. This links Lizzie a nd the girl but also the angel and the stranger because they draw the power in the respective relationships.I think the links make the reader want to read on because its like giving them some pieces of a puzzle. They can see some of the picture so they read on so they can find the rest of it.To create further curiosity, the wording especially after the letters is not explained at any point in the opening, forcing the reader to form their own opinion. The fact that she was extremely cautious especially after the letters makes the letters seem dim and let the reader know they were a cause for concern. I used ellipsis at the end so show it is an unfinished thought and an unanswered question.I carefully chose vocabulary to foreshadow salient events. For example, on top of the world is a well-known phrase, which means in a position of slap-up happiness or success. However I used the phrase perched on top of the world in my story opening. The word perched insinuates instability and precariousness so implies that her happiness may be short lived.I also used the progression of time to create effect. The story begins with the girl trying to speak and then finally collapsing she willed her mouth to finish the sentence but it wouldnt obeysuccumbed to the black cloud that was large(p) to engulf her and then goes to a lively vibrant scene. I did this so the scene would seem like a flashback or a dream as we know the main character is unconscious. The strobe firing in the scene adds to the dream-like quality.I tried to create an image of the setting (the club) being beautiful and pure. I did this by calling it heaven and using description like fluffy white clouds. I then used words like heaving with bodies thunder beats and pounding when describing the people and what they are doing to create a contrast. I did this to imply that clubbing itself is complimentary enough but the people make it dangerous.I used alliteration in several places for effect. drab dreary seawall emphasises how dull and grey the wall in contrast dazzling white of the angel, to to make it stand out more. In bodies all bouncing to the thundering beat, the b sound is reiterate to try and mirror the beat of the music. I used the phrases bottomless pools of baby blue and passive, peaceful presence because they are quite soft sounds and I wanted to make the stranger seem calm and and so contrast with the setting, which is electric.I used a metaphor They were puppets dancing to the tune of the headphone-wearing master in the glass booth above because it emphasises the submissive disposition of the clubbers and the idea of a person wielding power over someone else. The issue of power is explored in more different parts of the story.I also used repetition. The word seemed is used at the end the nett paragraph. She may have seemed like the happy-go-lucky type but appearances can be deceptive and she was quite the opposite and he seemed harmless enough. This is to suggest that just because the stranger seems harmless he may be quite the opposite and to foreshadow him doing something poisonous in the future. I put it in italics both(prenominal) times to add emphasis and draw the readers attention to it.In conclusion, I think the techniques I used were effective because there are unanswered questions right at the beginning, which are never answered and this appeals the curiosity of the reader, making them want to read on.